Am I really going to be 50?

My 50th birthday is fast approaching - a little faster than I'd like! I didn't think it would bother me too much but as the day draws near I'm feeling more and more anxious. Why does that number bother me and so many others so much? If 50 is just a number then why does my heart pound out of my chest each time I think of it?

I have been pondering what being 50 means to me. I guess it means that I should finally be grown up. Funny how I don't feel so grown up at times. That's the strange thing about aging. No matter how old you are your brain doesn't quite catch up to your body. I was chatting with my Dad about this and he says he still feels like a 20 year old man, except when he looks in the mirror.

25 years old seems like yesterday, but I've lived 25 x 2 already! What in the heck have I done for 25 years? Sure I've had kids, a couple of marriages and a whole book of crazy adventures, but am I really that old?

I visited a website on being a woman over 50 and they featured some great things about being over 50:

1. After turning 50 I felt liberated. I felt like I could say what I wanted to say, do things I wanted to do, and wear things I wanted to wear.

I've always done that, should I have waited until I was 50?

2. At 50, if you use condoms it's for safe sex, not for avoiding pregnancy. What a relief when that's not a worry anymore!

You mean I still have to have sex after 50?

3. We don't sweat the little things anymore -- and we've learned that darn near everything is a little thing!

The operative word being "sweat" - menopause causes you to sweat over everything!

4. You say "screw it" to plastic surgery. I read somewhere that more women in their 40s get plastic surgery than in their 50s. I think it's because once you hit 50, you don't care. You say, "I am who I am."

Who are they kidding - my bags under my eyes are more like suitcases now! I have a plastic surgeon on speed dial.

5. In their 50s, women realize they don't have to have a mate. They realize it's OK not to have a date everywhere you go.

That's what girlfriends are for - they are usually more fun than men anyway.

6. You get new hair, new clothes, to match who you want to be. You don't feel old, look old, or act old.

Yeah, I get new hair because mine is thinning and going grey, new clothes because I've gained weight, I feel 80, look like a stooped over old lady and catch myself saying "when I was younger".

7. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 50 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Sure, that must be a 50 year old woman saying that, not a cute 28 year old guy.

8. We've discovered that we can act like teenagers whenever we feel like it, and people think it's nifty.

Only someone over 50 would use the word "nifty".

9. A woman over 50 will not lay next to you in bed and ask "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.

This much is true, as long as she's had an orgasm she isn't thinking about much.

10. Women in their 50s make great lovers. Going through menopause can be extremely freeing. As she ages, her sexuality becomes more important, and she is better able to enjoy it.

That's because a woman in her 50's has a nice assortment of vibrators and couldn't care less if her husband minds if she uses them!

City of Thieves

While on vacation I read the most amazing book. City of Thieves is David Benioff's second novel and for those that enjoy a quick paced, exciting read this book is a must!

The book centers around two characters, Lev and Kolya, during the seige in Leningrad in January 1942. Lev is a 17 year old virgin who is self conscious of his lack of sexual experience and that he has a large nose. Kolya is a young soldier in the Red Army who brags of his sexual prowess.

Lev and Kolya meet after being arrested and are both subject to summary execution for their crimes. A colonel in the NKVD - a Soviet Secret Police Agency - stays their execution and in return orders them to find a dozen eggs for his daughters wedding cake.

The two then set off to locate the illusive eggs - a nearly impossible task with war time rations. They encounter harsh weather conditions, Partisan soldiers and a sadistic Einzatsgruppe commander along the way.

City of Thieves is a quick read with 250 jam packed pages. Gun fights, romance and hair raising escapes all add up to a thrilling read.

Alaska tourism job?

We are back from our Alaskan cruise, well rested, full of tales to tell all while packing around a few extra pounds.

We flew to Los Angeles and drove north for 3 hours to Tulare, which is outside Fresno. My father and his wife live there so a trip to L.A. of course has to include a visit with them. I hadn’t seen my Dad for a few years so it was nice to see them both.

We headed back to L.A. on Saturday for the start of our cruise. Even the first few moments of a cruise can be slightly overwhelming; from the sheer volume of people to the confusion of where to go to line up. A couple behind us in line commented on how nervous they were as it was their first cruise. I don’t feel nervous, just excitement.

We spent 3 days at sea heading to Juneau, Alaska. The first 2 days were met with fairly rough seas and given that I’m not of good mariner stock I was a bit under the weather. Nothing that a good dose of Dramamine can’t cure but with it comes drowsiness; the frequent naps were thoroughly enjoyed!




Day two had an unexpected bit of fun added to it. We went to late night entertainment show which was a “world famous magician” “Murray” – never heard of him before the cruise, even though he was from the Vancouver area!! Murray’s show was filled with the usual girl in a box and cut in to pieces, disappearing items and illusions. At one point he headed out to the audience as he needed 3 assistants. Of course no one wants to volunteer as you never know what you will be asked to do. I thought we were safe as we were in the upper portion of the theatre but next thing I knew Murray was grabbing my hand and dragging me up on stage. He had us help him shuffle cards and choose one each from the deck. He then threw the deck of cards in the air and our 3 cards were suddenly speared on his sword. I was standing 3 feet away from him and have NO idea how he did this trick. He then dismissed the other two assistants but kept me on stage while he did some balloon tricks. It was a bit strange standing up there for so long in front of so many people but it did add to the cruise for sure! I was teased for my autograph by my fellow cruisers for days!




Day 4 was spent in our first port in Juneau. It was great to see land after 3 days at sea and we were thrilled to see the sun shining in all its glory. Previous trips to Juneau were filled with cloudy skies and drizzly weather. I have to say though that the Alaska board of Tourism needs to review their choice of welcoming committees. During our first trip down the downtown strip we were greeted by an extremely intoxicated gentleman who followed us along and poked his head in to each shop while yelling at the shop keepers “you are more useless than he is and he is more useless than you are”!!! It was funny to hear but sad to see the state of a barely functioning alcoholic. When leaving Juneau we headed up to the top deck for sail away. On the pier was another intoxicated “gentleman” (I use this term very loosely!) who was unimpressed with our cruise ship. With a beer in his hand he proceeded to give us double handed middle finger gestures all while screaming obscenities at the ship. I suppose part of his job description is to keep the masses happy so his act also included dropping his jeans and performing a musical interlude on his manhood. It was hard to hear what he was playing but he was giving it his undivided attention, all while holding on to his beer!



Day 5 was spent in Ketchikan. I love how pretty this city is. Quaint and charming with an east coast sort of vibe. Again we had the most glorious weather, which in April is almost unheard of. My hubby and I aren’t much in to the shopping experience in the ports as they are filled with dozens of jewelry stores and souvenir shops, neither of which we are interested in - ok, I love jewelry but I make it for a living! The day was spent reading, eating and playing scrabble. Perfection.

Much of cruising is spent idly looking out the window at the ocean. I often take this opportunity to read but mostly I use for a time to shut down my brain. The most I had to think about during this cruise was which restaurant to eat at. Unfortunately a little too much food was eaten, a few too many margaritas were consumed and both my husband and I look like we are ready to give birth.

We had a great time and fell even more in love with each other. We are very compatible when travelling and love to spend time with each other. Our adventure lasted 9 days and I have to say that although I love to travel I love to come home to my family and my own bed even more.