Am I really going to be 50?

My 50th birthday is fast approaching - a little faster than I'd like! I didn't think it would bother me too much but as the day draws near I'm feeling more and more anxious. Why does that number bother me and so many others so much? If 50 is just a number then why does my heart pound out of my chest each time I think of it?

I have been pondering what being 50 means to me. I guess it means that I should finally be grown up. Funny how I don't feel so grown up at times. That's the strange thing about aging. No matter how old you are your brain doesn't quite catch up to your body. I was chatting with my Dad about this and he says he still feels like a 20 year old man, except when he looks in the mirror.

25 years old seems like yesterday, but I've lived 25 x 2 already! What in the heck have I done for 25 years? Sure I've had kids, a couple of marriages and a whole book of crazy adventures, but am I really that old?

I visited a website on being a woman over 50 and they featured some great things about being over 50:

1. After turning 50 I felt liberated. I felt like I could say what I wanted to say, do things I wanted to do, and wear things I wanted to wear.

I've always done that, should I have waited until I was 50?

2. At 50, if you use condoms it's for safe sex, not for avoiding pregnancy. What a relief when that's not a worry anymore!

You mean I still have to have sex after 50?

3. We don't sweat the little things anymore -- and we've learned that darn near everything is a little thing!

The operative word being "sweat" - menopause causes you to sweat over everything!

4. You say "screw it" to plastic surgery. I read somewhere that more women in their 40s get plastic surgery than in their 50s. I think it's because once you hit 50, you don't care. You say, "I am who I am."

Who are they kidding - my bags under my eyes are more like suitcases now! I have a plastic surgeon on speed dial.

5. In their 50s, women realize they don't have to have a mate. They realize it's OK not to have a date everywhere you go.

That's what girlfriends are for - they are usually more fun than men anyway.

6. You get new hair, new clothes, to match who you want to be. You don't feel old, look old, or act old.

Yeah, I get new hair because mine is thinning and going grey, new clothes because I've gained weight, I feel 80, look like a stooped over old lady and catch myself saying "when I was younger".

7. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 50 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Sure, that must be a 50 year old woman saying that, not a cute 28 year old guy.

8. We've discovered that we can act like teenagers whenever we feel like it, and people think it's nifty.

Only someone over 50 would use the word "nifty".

9. A woman over 50 will not lay next to you in bed and ask "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.

This much is true, as long as she's had an orgasm she isn't thinking about much.

10. Women in their 50s make great lovers. Going through menopause can be extremely freeing. As she ages, her sexuality becomes more important, and she is better able to enjoy it.

That's because a woman in her 50's has a nice assortment of vibrators and couldn't care less if her husband minds if she uses them!

City of Thieves

While on vacation I read the most amazing book. City of Thieves is David Benioff's second novel and for those that enjoy a quick paced, exciting read this book is a must!

The book centers around two characters, Lev and Kolya, during the seige in Leningrad in January 1942. Lev is a 17 year old virgin who is self conscious of his lack of sexual experience and that he has a large nose. Kolya is a young soldier in the Red Army who brags of his sexual prowess.

Lev and Kolya meet after being arrested and are both subject to summary execution for their crimes. A colonel in the NKVD - a Soviet Secret Police Agency - stays their execution and in return orders them to find a dozen eggs for his daughters wedding cake.

The two then set off to locate the illusive eggs - a nearly impossible task with war time rations. They encounter harsh weather conditions, Partisan soldiers and a sadistic Einzatsgruppe commander along the way.

City of Thieves is a quick read with 250 jam packed pages. Gun fights, romance and hair raising escapes all add up to a thrilling read.

Alaska tourism job?

We are back from our Alaskan cruise, well rested, full of tales to tell all while packing around a few extra pounds.

We flew to Los Angeles and drove north for 3 hours to Tulare, which is outside Fresno. My father and his wife live there so a trip to L.A. of course has to include a visit with them. I hadn’t seen my Dad for a few years so it was nice to see them both.

We headed back to L.A. on Saturday for the start of our cruise. Even the first few moments of a cruise can be slightly overwhelming; from the sheer volume of people to the confusion of where to go to line up. A couple behind us in line commented on how nervous they were as it was their first cruise. I don’t feel nervous, just excitement.

We spent 3 days at sea heading to Juneau, Alaska. The first 2 days were met with fairly rough seas and given that I’m not of good mariner stock I was a bit under the weather. Nothing that a good dose of Dramamine can’t cure but with it comes drowsiness; the frequent naps were thoroughly enjoyed!




Day two had an unexpected bit of fun added to it. We went to late night entertainment show which was a “world famous magician” “Murray” – never heard of him before the cruise, even though he was from the Vancouver area!! Murray’s show was filled with the usual girl in a box and cut in to pieces, disappearing items and illusions. At one point he headed out to the audience as he needed 3 assistants. Of course no one wants to volunteer as you never know what you will be asked to do. I thought we were safe as we were in the upper portion of the theatre but next thing I knew Murray was grabbing my hand and dragging me up on stage. He had us help him shuffle cards and choose one each from the deck. He then threw the deck of cards in the air and our 3 cards were suddenly speared on his sword. I was standing 3 feet away from him and have NO idea how he did this trick. He then dismissed the other two assistants but kept me on stage while he did some balloon tricks. It was a bit strange standing up there for so long in front of so many people but it did add to the cruise for sure! I was teased for my autograph by my fellow cruisers for days!




Day 4 was spent in our first port in Juneau. It was great to see land after 3 days at sea and we were thrilled to see the sun shining in all its glory. Previous trips to Juneau were filled with cloudy skies and drizzly weather. I have to say though that the Alaska board of Tourism needs to review their choice of welcoming committees. During our first trip down the downtown strip we were greeted by an extremely intoxicated gentleman who followed us along and poked his head in to each shop while yelling at the shop keepers “you are more useless than he is and he is more useless than you are”!!! It was funny to hear but sad to see the state of a barely functioning alcoholic. When leaving Juneau we headed up to the top deck for sail away. On the pier was another intoxicated “gentleman” (I use this term very loosely!) who was unimpressed with our cruise ship. With a beer in his hand he proceeded to give us double handed middle finger gestures all while screaming obscenities at the ship. I suppose part of his job description is to keep the masses happy so his act also included dropping his jeans and performing a musical interlude on his manhood. It was hard to hear what he was playing but he was giving it his undivided attention, all while holding on to his beer!



Day 5 was spent in Ketchikan. I love how pretty this city is. Quaint and charming with an east coast sort of vibe. Again we had the most glorious weather, which in April is almost unheard of. My hubby and I aren’t much in to the shopping experience in the ports as they are filled with dozens of jewelry stores and souvenir shops, neither of which we are interested in - ok, I love jewelry but I make it for a living! The day was spent reading, eating and playing scrabble. Perfection.

Much of cruising is spent idly looking out the window at the ocean. I often take this opportunity to read but mostly I use for a time to shut down my brain. The most I had to think about during this cruise was which restaurant to eat at. Unfortunately a little too much food was eaten, a few too many margaritas were consumed and both my husband and I look like we are ready to give birth.

We had a great time and fell even more in love with each other. We are very compatible when travelling and love to spend time with each other. Our adventure lasted 9 days and I have to say that although I love to travel I love to come home to my family and my own bed even more.

Leaving on a jet plane......and then on a ship!

We are finally leaving on our much needed and much anticipated vacation! We were originally booked to leave on a ten day cruise from Hawaii to Vancouver but given the economic climate these days we decided to be more financially responsible. We were able to find a great repositioning cruise from Los Angeles to Alaska and back to Vancouver. I've been to Alaska four times already but for me it's not always the destination but what happens on the trip.

I've always loved to travel. Perhaps it was that I started at a very young age with the pipe band I was in. My biggest trip with the band was when we travelled to Scotland to compete and I was only twelve years old! I spent 6 weeks there and quickly caught the travelling bug.

Most of my trips have been purely for the needed rest and relaxation. Some have been for business with a bonus rest period mixed in; it really was tough having business meetings in Hawaii!! Some have been because a good deal was involved - thanks to the Dorfman family Hawaii became my go to destination.

These days it's hard to get away. Both my husband and I are self employed and it takes many weeks of preparation to get ready for our trips. Sometimes it feels like the pre-trip work adds too much stress but we so look forward to our time away so it all seems worth it.

So, we are off to Los Angeles for a couple of days before the cruise and then off we sail. We don't try to plan things out too much, just sort of fly by the seat of our pants and see what happens. We have met some great people on our trips and some have remained our friends even after the luggage has been put away. We look forward to whatever this adventure brings us.

Bon Voyage!

Susan Boyle

I'm sure you've recently heard about Susan Boyle. If you haven't you must have been living under a rock, or have no TV!

Susan Boyle is a 47 year old British spinster who just happens to be a wonderful singer. She surprised everyone with her voice on the Britain's Got Talent show. If you haven't heard her sing have a watch.


Susan Boyle Stuns Crowd with Epic Singing - Watch more Funny Videos

Although her type of singing is a bit lost on me, I do appreciate that she has a beautiful voice. What I'm having a hard time with is how much she is being judged for her appearance and how much her looks make a difference in the music world.

Many blogs, news articles and forums have been discussing Susan and her appearance - both on her performance on the show, and how she looks. Many have been positive, but of course there are those that are terribly negative and hurtful. Even Rosie O'Donnell, the plus sized comedian, that you either love or hate, weighed in on Susan. "Interviewed while showcasing her artwork at a Florida gallery on Sunday, O'Donnell told People the world should "enjoy (Boyle's performance) for what it was." "Here is this freaky miss, a fat, ugly girl, like Shrek comes to life, directing energy towards her soul," O'Donnell told the magazine. "This was so rare ... something authentic in a world that is usually manufactured. It was a perfect moment which will never happen again." What I'm sure was supposed to be a positive comment came across sounding like a back handed compliment to me. This from a woman who has not achieved stardom through her looks.

Why is it that we place so much stock in how someone looks? Why can't we accept that people are different? We all come in different shapes and sizes and have varying degrees of so called beauty. What really makes someone beautiful anyway? Is it really how pretty their face is or is it what type of person they are? I know plenty of "pretty people" who in fact have rather ugly personalities.

Is she being judged by her looks because she is a woman? Are women being held up to outrageous standards that men would never have to? Do you remember what Luciano Pavarotti looked like? Would a woman be able to look like this and have a successful singing/acting career? Somehow I doubt it.



African American singer Angie Stone, who has an absolutely beautiful voice, chose not to have a lot of publicity shots taken of her while her first CD was being released. Angie is gorgeous and a plus sized woman. She wanted her CD to be about music, not how she looked.

Remember back in the day when we listened to music for what it sounded like and what emotion it evoked? Sure, during our teeny bopper days we fell in love with David Cassidy and Donny Osmond because they were cute, but I don't believe we fell in love with The Rolling Stones because Mick Jagger was pretty!

I hope that Susan Boyle ends up with some sort of singing career as I do believe she has some talent. What I fear is that her looks will always shadow her voice and that would be a shame.

New Bridal Pieces

"Kristi"

I've been feeling a little creative the last day or so and made up some new bridal pieces for my jewelry collection.

My favorites are these new earrings - designed for Kristi Gordon of GlobalTV news. I'm meeting with her today to discuss her wedding jewelry, I hope she likes them!

To see these and the other new pieces please visit my site at www.kelliesutton.com

Noise Pollution

It seems that there is an ever increasing amount of noise in my life and I really feel the need to turn down the volume!

One of the first signs of spring is usually the crocus flowers peaking through the dirt. For me, the first sign of spring is noise. People start to peak their heads out of their homes as soon as the sun starts shining, and along with them comes the noise.

Motorcycles - parked in the garage over the winter they all make an appearance with those first rays of sun.

Leaf blowers - most of the fall leaves were already collected before the winter cold but now all those nasty pine needles etc. need to be blasted off the driveway.

Power washers - living in a rainy dark place means lots of moss and slimy green stuff - nothing better than blasting it all away with the power of water.

Lawn mowers - even though the grass has barely woken up there are neighbours out there happily pushing their lawn mowers for the first of many trims.

Kids on trampolines - we are "lucky" enough to have 2 of them in neighbouring yards - ok, better to have the kids around the house and not out wreaking havoc in the streets but the sounds of their screams bring me to murderous rage at times. Can't forget the thump, thump, thump of the basketballs and the SWACK! of the hockey pucks.

Music - there seems to be a need to crank up the volume on your stereo system while washing your car. Do I need to hear Creedance Clearwater Revival at 8am on Sunday morning?

Birds - if you've read my previous posts you'll know I'm no bird lover. All I see is food when looking at a bird. At the least the new neighbours don't have those two charming cockatiels in cages outside like the previous neighbours did!

I suppose all these little noises wouldn't bother me if I weren't already being driven insane by the rest of the noise in my life. Televisions, blenders, washing machines, dryers with buzzers, phones ringing, husbands snoring, train whistles, cell phones beeping and buzzing, alarm clocks, car alarms and now airplanes since the flight path has been moved over my home!

I don't think I'd like to live in a world of silence but I surely could use a break from the noise once in a while.

"True silence is the rest of the mind; it is to the spirit what sleep is to the body, nourishment and refreshment." William Penn

Easter Long Weekend

Finally the Easter long weekend is over! I'm all for having a few days off but this particular holiday seems to drag on forever. Perhaps it was because the weather was not great and I couldn't get outside to start my Spring gardening. Likely it was because my Easter traditions are forever changing causing me to be overly reflective.

I have fond memories of Easter as a child. My maternal grandparents didn't live close to us but we travelled to see them often. It was quite normal for us to be shipped over to see them for the Easter holidays. My grandfather (Papa) was the funniest man and would give his eye tooth to play a prank on someone......especially my grandmother (Nanny)!! Easter is a time when most husbands head to the flower shop to purchase some lovely Spring posies for their wives, but not Papa! He would take us on a scavenger hunt in the woods looking for the smelliest skunk cabbage we could find. He would then lovingly wrap a bow on it and present it to my Nanny. Even though I'm sure she was as mad as a hornet she laughed with delight at his silly prank, all the while my brother and I were giggling uncontrollably. I also remember on Easter morning, Papa yelling that he could see the Easter bunny tracks in the frost on the lawn. My brother and I would scamper outside to see the tracks and try to find the Easter bunny! The tracks went clear around the yard but we never found that elusive bunny.

Easter celebrations with my own children mainly consisted of the requisite Easter egg hunt and the gathering of the clan for the traditional eating of the turkey. There is nothing quite like seeing your children’s eyes bug out when they see that large wicker basket stuffed with all their favorite goodies.

Lately our Easter celebrations have changed. My grandparents are no longer with us. My Mother and Father, long since divorced, live a fair distance from me. My children, both in their mid 20's are shift workers that seldom, if ever, get any of the holidays off. This year we attempted a make shift gathering about 5 days before the holiday - better to have us together even if it's not on the day.

My hubby and I were invited to celebrate a Ukrainian Easter brunch with my girlfriend’s parents. She explained that we would be eating a traditional Ukrainian breakfast full of all sorts of things we'd likely never eaten. I was a bit hesitant as I'm not fond of unusual foods but I was delightfully surprised! Ham, cabbage rolls, Ukrainian sausage, beet horseradish, hard boiled eggs and a scrumptious assortment of Easter breads. It was delicious and we were honored to be included in on a family tradition.

The sun is supposed to come out today so hopefully I'll get out in that garden of mine. It will give me time to reflect on the changes in my life and cherish the wonderful memories I have been lucky enough to have.

Happy Easter

What's a Twitter?

I do believe I'm Twittering my life away! When I ask my friends "are you twittering" - they look at me like I've taken a hit off a bong. "What is twitter" they ask? Twitter is the newish social messaging outlet that is the craze of the moment. Some people use it for hawking their wares, some use it for a creative outlet, some have some really useful information and others use it to annoy the world.

I've been trying to negotiate my way around Twitter for a couple of weeks now. I often feel like less of a human when it comes to these sites as others seem to navigate them with the greatest of ease, not me, I clunk along like a Special Olympian (hey, Obama used this phrase on Leno, I'm just stealing his words!).

Firstly you have to sign up and come up with a "name". I wanted to use my entire jewelry site name "KellieSuttonJewelry" but apparently that was too long. So, I just ended up using "KellieSutton". I sign up with the name I didn't want to use and now what do I do? Set up your homepage. Great, more stuff I can't figure out. They want a picture of you in there - good thing I have a FABU professional picture taken by the Vancouver photographer to the stars - Kevin Clark. At least when people find me they will think I am gorgeous - love that Photoshop!! Now to write something for my bio, briefly though as everything in Twitterville is done in 140 characters or less. They say this is to keep things quick and easy but all it does is frustrate me as everything I want to say uses more than 140 characters! I come up with some lame bio but eventually tweak it a bit for something slightly more interesting. After playing around with things for what seems like days I have a homepage that doesn't make me want to hide.

Now you want to try to find people to "follow". You can follow people that you find interesting and you will have people that will follow you. There is a search area where you can find people to follow. Who do I search for and why do I want to have them on my list? I'm confused. I search for most of my friends and of course they aren't on there - they are the sane people who don't waste their lives on technology. They have a suggested user’s area which is where I look first. I can follow President Obama if I want - um, aren't you supposed to be running the country there Mr. O? I can follow Lance Armstrong if I want to feel like less of a human being - overachiever that he is! Hey, Snoop Dogg is on there - cool, I can now watch him smoke a joint on live stream on Twitter! Guess he's pissed off about the weapons charges and wants to "stick it to the man"!! John Mayer is on there - oooh, I like him - click - I'm your friend for life now John. Brooke Burke - the hottie from Dancing with the Stars is on there. I couldn't really care two hoots about her but she is married to that delicious David Charvet - maybe he'll become my friend! LOL!! Oh, just a minute, someone added me, they want to follow me - why would a 22 year old DJ from LA want to follow me? Oh well, add him anyway - at least someone wants me.

Somehow I've ended up following 125 people and 99 people are following me. There are users that have 43,000 people following them - they must be really cool or at least 43,000 people think they are. I've added some funny people, some smart people and some very odd people - aka, John Mayer - your music is great but you must take hits off that bong that my friends think I use!

Why do we Twitter? Does it mean anything? What does it add to our lives? Do I really need to know that the actor/director Kevin Smith was trying to push out an annoying poop yesterday? - I am just reporting the facts here people, he actually said that!! I spend so much time looking around, answering tweets, as they are called and basically just wasting my time.

My hubby just popped his head in my office and was trying to talk to me about his day. I was pretty much ignoring him as I'm simultaneously writing my blog and tweeting. His comment was "drop me an email when you have time for me". Twitter you are ruining my marriage.

Britney Spears

Britney Spears did a concert in Vancouver last night. About 3 songs in she decided to leave the stage as apparently there was too much smoke. Within minutes of it happening blogs, twitter and facebook were buzzing. After an annoyingly and uncomfortable 30 minutes she re-entered the stage while appearing lack luster and un-energetic.

I'm not a big Britney fan but I do find some of her music worth putting on my ipod to listen to during my daily walks. I understand that she has an appeal to a certain crowd but what are they getting for their money? They are getting a girl who used to be a great entertainer. Her records were fairly good back in her early years, as were her videos. Add Kevin Federline, 2 back to back babies and a ton of drama and you end up with a different Britney. I'm all for comebacks but was she really ready for all this?

My hubby and I were having a discussion this morning about the concert. We were discussing our concert experiences through out our lives. Elton John, ZZ Top, Van Halen, John Mayer and the list goes on for both of us. I've never been to a concert where I didn't feel that the performers were not giving us 100% of their energies. I always felt that the price of the ticket was justified by the quality of the performance. Do our children feel like this......very unlikely.

My kids and I have talked about this before - one of them (again, memory problems so can't remember which kid!) recently said, "Mom, who will be my classic artists"? We were discussing how all the kids listen to our old music these days as there is nothing for them to listen to. It really made me think about the type of music kids have these days. My neighbours took their young girls to see a Janet Jackson concert in Vancouver last year and had to end up leaving towards the end due to graphic visual content. Can't they just sing anymore? Does everything have to relate to sex somehow?

Britney Spears opening act was The Pussycat Dolls. Here is a singing group that was put together firstly as a burlesque group. They evolved in to a singing group - ok, we'll call them that. Their main focus seems to be on sex. They are all gorgeous with fake everything - boobs, hair, nails etc. They wear little to none in the way of clothing. They writhe around on the stage while singing their songs about sex. What happened to singing about having your heart broken or drinking too much beer? A sample of their lyrics: " And I know you want it, It's easy to see, And in the back of your mind, I know you should be F*** me". Man, I wish we had great stuff like that back in our day!

I watched the news this morning and again they were still chatting about Britney. They interviewed the fans on the way out of the concert and they didn't have much to say. I think this video of Britney leaving the concert sums it all up. Listen to the end but please note there is graphic language. Nice that this is how our children are thanked for dumping all their money on a "star".

Sleep, glorious sleep

I'm tired. I think I've been tired for most of my 50 years. I've never been a good sleeper. Mom loves to tell people that I never slept as a baby - apparently I was too afraid that something was going on around me and I might miss it. Truth? Probably.

I've always been one of those people that have never really enjoyed sleeping. Crazy, I know. It just seems like another chore that I don't have time for. My motto during my 20's - 40's was "I'll sleep when I die". Sometimes I think I took that a little too literally as I think I only slept a couple of hours a night during those years. That was what Diet Pepsi was invented for. Stay up all hours of the night, go to bed at 4am, get up at 5am for work and chug a Diet Pepsi on the way to work - no coffee for this girl - smells great but tastes like feet!

I've tried everything to help me sleep. Sleeping pills - yuck, they just give me a wicked hangover or a nasty taste in my mouth for the whole day. If I'm going to feel hungover all day I want the memories of a ripping good party to be fresh in my mind. Melatonin - can you imagine freaky clowns chasing you in your dreams? That has got to be the weirdest sleep aid - too crazy for me! A couple of cocktails - even resorted to that! When I used to work night shift, as I did for most of my working life, I even tried downing a couple before sleep to see if it would help. Not so much, I had to get up to pee from all the liquids!

Now I've created this crazy ritual before sleep. Get in my jammies, wash the makeup and days work off my face, brush my pearly whites (who forgot to tell me that they aren't so pearly white as we age?) and make sure to hit the head before jumping in to bed. Tiptoe in to the bedroom as husband goes to bed much earlier than I do - I could say it's because he is REALLY old but the truth is he's younger than me (yeah for me - go cougars!!) and he gets up at an ungodly hour of 4am!! I turn on the light a little, push hubby on to his side of bed, whisper "stop snoring" in to his ear and snuggle under my comfy bed ensemble. I have to read for at least 15 minutes or the brain does not shut down. I like to read a good book but I tend to forget everything I read at night - read yesterdays post to understand that - so I generally whip out the People magazine - aka, toilet reading. Oh, must get up to go to the bathroom again just in case my bladder is still full. Crawl back in bed and try to read myself to sleep once again. What a chore just to get to sleep!

After a night of punching my pillow trying to get comfortable, flipping around on our very expensive new mattress trying to find a position where my fibromyalgia isn't killing me, hearing the house alarm going off as my shift worker son comes home at 3am and continually yelling at my hubby or trying to roll him over to decrease his snoring I wake up - more exhausted than when I went to bed.

And what do I wake up to? Birds! Lovely little things that they are. How can something the size of a quarter emit such a loud shrill sound. I jump out of bed and try to stare down the little bugger sitting on the tree outside my window. He keeps chirping as he knows there is nothing I can do. Oh wait, he is flying away, is it because he sees me with my frying pan and my expensive olive oil at the ready? Damn birds, give me some salt and pepper and a fork - that's the way I like my birds. Wow that was harsh, must be the lack of sleep talking!

I'll sleep when I die - well can I die already because I'm freaking tired!

Have I forgotten how to remember?

I had two things to remember this morning when I was leaving my home. I had to take back the fabric sample to the furniture store and I had to remember to grab some cash to pay my esthetician. Did I remember either - of course not!

What happens to our minds as we age? Does the hard drive get over loaded? Is it because we had kids and they sucked the brain cells out? - probably, but it's better to blame my husband. Some of us have a worse time than others. Myself? I often think I'm in the latter stages of dementia!

My maternal grandmother had mind like a steel trap.....right up till she passed away at 93. Nanny could remember even the slightest of details from way back in the day. I wrote a poem to read at her funeral and in it I said "who will remember all the details of my life?" I could always count on Nanny to remember all those little things I often forget.

My kids ask me all sorts of things like "Mom, when did I start walking". "Mom, what was my 3rd grade teachers name?" I have absolutely no idea what the answer would be to either of those questions so my response would be "go ask your Father!"

My poor mother in law is suffering from dementia. She's not at a place where she doesn't know who she is, but she does say the same thing over and over again and can't remember how to do the simple things any longer. We had to place her in a rest home and when she got there she said "what am I doing here with all these crazy people"? I hope my kids never have to have this burden put upon them.

I worry about my mind and where it will end up. I laugh at myself and my forgetfullness but it does cause me concern. I guess it's part of being "50" but it's not a fun part. I sure hope those Centrum horse pills I'm taking have enough B12 in them to give my old brain a boost!

So I told my esthetician that I will pay her on Friday and I came home to pick up the fabric sample. I'm sure I have more to tell you but I forgot what I was going to say.

Vitamins

So I decided to make my weekly trek to Costco to spend countless dollars on all those things I just had to have in multiple quantities. I hit the bread aisle first and went straight to the white bread that I would love to buy. I stared at it longingly and then headed for the 12 grain brown variety that helps keep your colon clean. Not as good when making that grilled cheese sandwich but then again when do I make those these days? Off to find the wraps - I love me a good wrap! Again, I have the plain white wraps in my hand but decide that the 12 grain bread needs some company in my colon and get the whole grain with flax. What a party it will be in my intestines!

Off to the cheese aisle. I could easily buy the entire collection of Costco cheeses but restrain myself as I've heard that cheese is a little hard on the cholesterol. I settle on a couple of nice chunks of Romano cheese, mostly because they were $8 off each piece - wahoo!! I love a bargain, maybe even more than that good wrap I mentioned before!

Off to the veggie and fruit section. Why can't this section be as much fun as shopping in the chocolate section? I do like fruit and most vegetables but they are just not that inspiring to me. I like to decorate my home in the colors of vegetables - eggplant is pretty, tomato red is delicious and granny smith apple green is crispy cool! I wander around and buy a large container of strawberries - they mix nicely with my bowl of yogurt in the morning.

Off to the milk section. It seems that I forgot to stand in line for innards that can properly digest milk products so this section is pretty much lost on me. I do however have a husband and a grown son that consume huge quantities of this stomach cramping liquid. I've had to resort to rice milk. Horrible to drink but not too bad on a bowl of Special K with a few of those strawberries tossed in.

Off to the cereal section. Costco has the most delicious really healthy granola for a nice crunchy topping on my yogurt. I know, you are probably wondering how I can eat yogurt but can't drink milk. I'm not sure how that whole thing works. I just tell myself that yogurt is better for me than downing 2 pieces of toasted white bread slathered in 2 inches of chunky peanut butter. This granola is full of all sorts of goodness. Flax, nuts, seeds and a whole pile of goodies that would keep the entire forest of squirrels happy.

I wander around aimlessly looking for other things to fill up my cart. 2, not 1 bottles of ketchup and a rather large jar of 1/2 fat mayonnaise.

The last aisle I walk down contains the Tums. It seems that acid reflux is a common complaint in our household these days. I decide that 4 containers of Tums x 250 pills is far too many to consume before the expiration date. They will have to wait until the trip to the drugstore. The last thing I see is the Vitamins. I've not been feeling great for a couple of months, thus all the healthy foods. After watching Dr. Oz on Oprah last week I realized I'd better add a vitamin or two. Now to figure out which ones to buy! There was literally dozens and dozens of different containers. Omega this and Glucosamine that. What is a girl to do? Oh, here's one that looks simple - "Centrum Select 50+". "You're busy, involved and passionate about life. Being pro-active about your health is important to you and your family. You know your body is changing and has different needs. There is increasing research concerning the nutritional needs of people over 50. To help maintain the right balance of vitamins and minerals, a specially formulated multivitamin like Centrum Select can be an important addition to a healthy lifestyle." That sounds good to me. Oh wait, I'm not 50 yet - hmmm, I will be in just over a month - guess I qualify to take these vitamins. Oh god, I'm going to be 50.